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time for you. Yourself.Hey ppl, i'm at work now. its not so busy today, so i was surfing the net and came across this. HahA.. i guess some of you may figure people who read books like, "Improving yourself", "HOw to make your relationships last", blah blah, are plain losers. Honestly, everytime i visit MPH i'd eye people who pick up such books, skeptical about the exciting lives they might lead. But then again, i'm a sucker for such reads too. heh, i guess its a taurean trait. We need to find out what the hell we're supposed to do with our lives, or die trying to get about it. Anyhows, judging from how stressed some of you seem to be over studies and all.. perhaps this little entry i lifted from the net will help u ppl work through those nerve-wrecking thoughts.. Sometimes, change is good. *chill* =CiA = Make a Break Sometimes we find that trying something new is hard because it's, well, new. Often it's helpful to act as if you've already made a change, which in and of itself can lead to change. "Research has shown that the mere act of smiling, even when you're not happy, can actually change your brain chemistry," says Miller. "Therefore, it's been hypothesized that if you behave as if you are already in a new role, then you can begin to authentically become that person." Role breaking takes some strategizing, says Dr. Luepnitz. "Most people whose personas seem to shriek Funny Girl! or Miss Fix-it! have been playing that part for years, and they've trained friends to react to them in a certain way. So it's important to realize that you created the type, and therefore you have the responsibility to creatively and persistently turn it around." Try humor, suggests Dr. Luepnitz, such as using a birthday or New Year's resolution to joke dead seriously about the new you. "Make a toast and tell everyone the rules of the New Me: 'No one calls me before 8 a.m. to discuss romantic woes or anything less dire than a terrorist attack in my own backyard.'" Once you decide to make a change, be prepared for mixed reactions. There's the best friend who insists you can't possibly be interested in applying for that job in sales because you've never been the bubbly, outgoing sort. Or the husband who encourages you to go back into the workforce after staying at home with the kids, then complains that you're never around when he needs you. In most cases, critical comments are more about what's at stake for the speaker than they are about you. That's because your changes inevitably create loss for others, explains Florence Isaacs, author of Toxic Friends/True Friends: How Your Friends Can Make or Break Your Health, Happiness, Family, and Career. "People worry they'll be dropped by the wayside," says Isaacs. "If you win the lottery or get that degree, they're not where you are anymore." When you foresee an unsupportive response, lay some groundwork, advises Michele Weiner-Davis, a family and couples therapist and the author of Change Your Life and Everyone in It. "You can say, 'I know you might have some difficulty with the change I plan to make,' or 'You might not be expecting this, but it's something I've been thinking about.'" It may help to reassure him or her that you're going to continue to hold up your end of things, that the family or the person is still a priority, she says. at 11:42 AM 0 comments
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